Answer “Yes” or “No” for each of the following statements.
- I often feel disconnected from my partner.
- We argue about the same issue over and over, without coming to a resolution.
- I feel hurt and/or angry by my partner’s actions.
- I don’t trust my partner.
- Sex and other physical touch (holding hands, kissing, cuddling) is rare or absent in our relationship.
- I feel my partner doesn’t respect me, especially when we argue.
- I don’t look forward to the time I spend with my partner.
- During arguments, one or both of us talks about “divorce” or “breaking up.”
- My partner doesn’t appreciate the things I do in this relationship.
- I don’t feel comfortable speaking openly with my partner about my worries and fears.
When you’re done, calculate your score (Yes = 1 point; No = 0 points). This score will give you an idea of the health of your relationship and whether you should consider couples therapy.
1-2 points: You and your partner have a strong relationship – congratulations! Don’t take it for granted – continue talking about the hard stuff, scheduling time for your relationship, and creating a shared vision for the future.
3-6 points: This is a critical time in your relationship. While some aspects of your relationship are strong, there are some core issues you need to address. You might be wondering if you really need couple’s therapy, or if it’s just for really unhappy couples. I like to think of therapy as an annual physical with your doctor – a chance to check-in, explain what’s bothering you, and receive some recommendations. Remember that early intervention is key when it comes to physical and mental health! Contact me to schedule your check-up!
7+ points: Your relationship may be in crisis, and you might wonder if it can be saved. I have noticed that if both partners are strongly committed to saving the relationship and willing to do the work, they can significantly improve their relationship. It truly is never too late! Contact me to start improving things today.